Like Sand Through the Hourglass...

Baby Boy,

Only two short months (give or take) until your debut. I thought I
would get increasingly excited as your due date drew closer, but I
have found that the closer it gets, the sadder I get because I realize
that it will be the end of my pregnancy. I don’t hear too many women
get sad about not being pregnant, or hoping to keep their swollen
ankles and extra 30 pounds on them for any longer than they have to,
but I have been so lucky to have the most healthy, normal, text book,
indiscernible pregnancy that anybody could ever ask for. I never once
vomited or missed a second of work. I am still able to work out and
eat like I did pre-pregnancy, my test results and vitals have all
checked out normal, my midwife has described you as “right on target,”
“healthy as can be,” and “perfect,” and I have been fortunate enough
to make it this far without the slightest cough, sniffle, or need for
any medication. For those who know me best, they know that my life has
been anything but lucky for the past six months, so maybe my flawless
pregnancy is God’s way of cutting me a break. While I am obviously
excited to meet you, I have always hated good-byes and endings, and
while the birth of a baby is a beautiful thing, it is the end to so
many things. An end to the way everything is actually. I always
thought I would love being pregnant and joked with my friends about
serving as their surrogate and thankfully, now that I have been
pregnant, I can say that I truly loved it even more than I thought I
would. My coworker told me the other day that if she ever needed a
surrogate, she would use me, which I thought was a huge compliment
since she spends more time with me than anyone else in my life. Rather
than getting caught up in rushing through the pregnancy to get to the
birth, or complaining about the changes my body has had to endure, I
have focused on every single opportunity pregnancy has brought to the
table. Many of the things I have done are cliché, but a few things
have been special and something nobody else will ever get to
experience with you. I have taken the weekly belly pictures; treated
myself to pedicures when I could no longer comfortably reach my toes;
splurged on a prenatal massage; participated in prenatal yoga; read
numerous books; followed countless blogs and instagram accounts of
pregnant women and new moms; gave into the desire to eat candy and the
urge to eat more in one day than I used to eat in an entire week;
drank a gallon of water a day; ran my fingers through my long, thick
hair that is usually dry and brittle; sang to you; read to you; prayed
for you; built a relationship with a doula; shopped for everything you
could ever need and want; made every craft I can possibly imagine to
make your nursery exactly what I have always imagined; swayed, rocked,
and rubbed my belly whenever I got the opportunity; took long baths
and even longer naps; shopped at the maternity clothing stores and
experimented with making my once cute maxi dresses into maternity
tops; videotaped you moving in my belly; wrote you letters; started a
blog; downloaded pregnancy apps; listened to your tiny heartbeat with
a doppler; recorded your heartbeat every month; laid around and tuned
into your moving and kicking; played music on my belly; had a gender
party; saw you in 4D; slathered oils and lotions on myself from my
knees to my shoulders; and enjoyed the comfort of you being with me
24/7. My favorite thing that we have done is relax and think of
absolutely nothing for the first 30 minutes of my work day. As soon
as I walk into the office, while it is still dark and foggy outside
and before anybody else arrives for the day, I take the first 30
minutes to prop my feet up on my desk, rest my iphone on my belly
where you can hear some of my favorite Pandora stations, including
Norah Jones, John Mayer, DMB, and Jason Mraz, and rock my computer
chair back and forth. My pending gloom is not strictly from a lack of
being pregnant though. I realize that your birth will also be the end
of a lot of our time together. Yes, you will actually be present, and
not in my belly, but we will no longer get to spend 24 hours a day
together. Between my daily commute, full-time job, and practical
hours for my master’s, we will be apart from each other between 55-60
hours/week. Nothing makes me more sad than to accept the fact that
you will primarily be raised by some daycare worker I have never met,
and that unlike many women, I am not fortunate enough to get to
stay home with you and devote my time to raising you and watching you
grow. Even though we won’t get to spend as much time together as I
would like, I hope that your upbringing teaches you the value of an
education, hard work, a career, and drives you to be successful and
make a name for yourself, rather than growing up assuming that life is
easy and expecting things to be handed to you. So, let’s enjoy the
last few weeks we have together and may they be as smooth sailing as
the past 31.

Love,

Mom

31 Weeks!

January 2, 2013

What Little LaCasse has been up to:

• The rate of physical growth slows down just a bit
• Fat continues accumulating
• Bones are growing and hardening
• Brain enters another period of rapid growth
• May move to the rhythm of music
• Lungs are the only major organ left to complete development
• Length (16.2 inches); weight (3.3 pounds)

What we have been up to:

• I put your crib together all by myself.  Only cursed once and no blood was shed.
• Put your mobile together that we have had laying around the house since July and hung the "Lennon" yarn letters above your crib
• Started feeling some part of you in my right rib cage, like something is stuck up there
• Didn't get to see you in 4D like I had planned and looked forward to for months because of the stupid snow, but it's rescheduled for this Saturday!
• Got a big box of boys toys from freecycle.org and will clean and sterilize them, while trying to figure out how they work
• Entered your birth year!!!! I felt super cool checking out at Walmart at 10 PM on New Years Eve with Gushers and sparkling red grape juice.  People probably assumed I was going home to celebrate New Years with a bunch of kindergartners. Between that and my virgin strawberry daiquiri I ordered with my dinner, I was really living on the wild side.
• I've been exceptionally tired lately, but every other symptom has disappeared and no new ones have sprung up *fingers crossed*
• Made us matching hospital gowns during my time off work!  I thought Daddy was going to be mad because your hospital gown turned out looking sort of like a dress....well it actually looks just like a dress....but he was so caught up in my seamstress skills that he handled it very well. I still have 9 weeks to think of a way to make it more manly. Arrr.
• In addition to your crib, I set up your changing table station and stacked up all your little Pamper Swaddlers in neat little stacks that I'm sure won't last long (the diapers or the neat stacks) and set up your humidifier, which I've been using at night for myself until your arrival.

 

Lennon is a head of lettuce still!

 

from babycenter.com

30 Weeks!

December 26, 2012

What Little LaCasse has been up to:

• Head is getting larger to accommodate a period of rapid brain growth
• A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds the baby
• Eyes can move from side to side and follow a light source
• Early lanugo is beginning to disappear
• Toenails are entering their final growth stage
• Bone marrow is now in charge of RBC production
• Baby has the capability now to produce tears
• Length (15.7 inches); weight (2.91 pounds)

What we have been up to:

• Celebrated your "Christmas in the Womb."  It made me so excited for next Christmas with you and most of the gifts I asked for are for you, so I'm finally starting to realize how it has always been so easy for my mom to be selfless and put my brother and me first. You got a nap nanny, Sophie the Giraffe, LifeFactory glass bottles, and we'll say a camera, because it will mostly be used to photograph you and videotape all your "firsts."   
• Shawn felt you give two good, hard kicks in a row.  It seems like every time he tries to feel you move, you stop moving, so those kicks meant a lot.
• Medically, everything is normal/great and my every other week appointments start the first week of January.  My platelets, hemoglobin, and hematocrit were normal and I passed my GTT.  I'm AB-, so I got my first Rhogam shot, which the nurse said would burn and be awful and it was nothing. I'm up 14 pounds.  Hoping to only put on about 10 more before your debut, so the majority of it is lost before I even leave the hospital.
• It snowed for the first time since I've been pregnant, which was exciting for like 15 minutes, and then I remembered how much I hate winter and the snow.  Hopefully everything works out and we can move south within a few years, long before you have to freeze your little butt off 2/3 of the year.
• Started reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" and "The Nursing Mother's Companion" in preparation for breastfeeding. 
• Since I'm on a school break, I finally found the time to make your boppy pillow cover and taggy blanket, which turned out better than I expected, if I must say so myself!
• I've barely eaten any chocolate or ice cream since I've been pregnant because both have seemed repulsive to me, but I had a craving for a Wendy's frosty and that about sent you into shock.  You kept me up allll night.  I just laid in bed and watched TV from 4 AM on and didn't even care! 

Staying round and low.

Getting squished in there. No wonder you kick and elbow me more.
from babycenter.com

Lennon is a head of lettuce :)



Front of boppy pillow. Made to match your blanket and some of your burp cloths!



Oh so soft minky fabric for the back of your boppy pillow.



Taggy blanket.  Can't wait to teach you the animal and the colors.



Back of taggy blanket.



First snow fall since I found out about you. Happened on Christmas Eve even!



Your nap nanny that Pappy got you/me for Christmas.
Hoping it leads to some nights that involve sleep.



Camera/video camera pappy bought me to take an obnoxious amount of pictures of you.



Guess which hand is your Dad's?

29 Weeks!!

December 19, 2012

What Little LaCasse is up to:

• Baby's head is in proportion with body
• Fat continues to accumulate under the skin
• Baby's brain can control primitive breathing and body temperatures
• Eyes can move in their sockets
• Baby is increasingly sensitive to changes in light, sound, taste, and smell
• Baby is moving from side to side
• Length (15.2 inches); weight (2.54 pounds)

What we have been up to:

• Finally found a messenger bag I love that can be used as a diaper bag thanks to an organizer insert.  I wasn't having much luck finding a bag that is meant to be a diaper bag that I liked.
• Got SO excited that I already packed the diaper bag with everything I have so far to put in it on my list of diaper bag items
• Finished reading "BabyWise" and stared reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth."  "BabyWise" was very different than what I expected.  I didn't know it at the time, but it is the total opposite of what is recommended in "The Happiest Baby on the Block."  It was good to read two books on totally different newborn parenting styles and I decided to try to strive for a style that is a combination of both books. 
• Ordered a dress from ASOS to wear to my baby shower and I love it!  What an amazing site :)
• Found a bargain on Craigslist...18 Baby Einstein DVDs for $75.  I had a bunch of these DVDs on my registry and they sell for $10-$15 each, but I got them for about $4 each. Can't wait to play them for Lennon!
• Finished another Master's course with an A and have off school for three weeks! Only 8 months to go!
• Watched the third "Business of being Born" DVD.  Love those videos.
• I've been downing (on average) one vegetarian Chipotle burrito per week lately and I won't be surprised if Little LaCasse comes out looking like a little burrito himself.  The hot sauce is starting to make me hate me life though, but I refuse to give in.
• The shower RSVPs keep rolling in and 8 items on Lennon's registry have already been purchased, including his big item, his 3-in-1 highchair! It makes me so happy to know so many people already love and care about him.

Getting sick of this shirt. I don't think I'll ever be able to wear it post-pregnancy.

from babycenter.com

Lennon is a butternut squash!

Took some bare belly pics of my not-so-lined-up linea nigra

My shower dress, only it doesn't look half that good on me.

"Diaper bag" from Aldo

Inside!

So far...

• Two change of baby clothes
• Burp cloth
• Baby hat
• Baby socks
• Baby washcloth
• Menstrual pads
• Breast pads
• Toy
• Diapers
• Thermometer

Still to come...

• Wipes
• Hand sanitizer
• Extra shirt for me (expecting to either leak milk, or be puked on, or both at the same time)
• Zip lock bags
• Hootie hider
• Travel changing pad
• Lansinol
• Boogy wipes
• Sunblock for baby
• Receiving blanket

28 Weeks!

12-12-12!!!

What Little LaCasse has been up to:

• Eyebrows and eyelashes are now very noticeable
• Hair on baby's head is growing longer
• Eyes are completely formed
• Baby's body is getting plump and rounded
• Muscle tone is improving
• Lungs are capable of breathing now
• Baby can recognize voices now
• Length (14.8 inches); weight (2.2 pounds)

What we have been up to:

• Started reading the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" right after finishing "Bloom" and finished it in a week.  It had a lot of helpful tips, but it wasn't as good as I expected it would be after everybody raved about it.
• My sister-in-law mailed out all of the baby shower invitations and the RSVPs are already rolling in!
• Heartburn has started, the gas pains are still hanging around and worse than ever, and I can eat $25 worth of food a day, but luckily, I'm still able to run on the treadmill.
• Celebrated my 25th birthday on Sunday with the family and had a second Thanksgiving dinner and ice cream cake per my request :)
• Washed and organized all of Lennon's clothes and there is WAY more than I thought there was.  Each age category (NB, 0-3 months, 3-6, months, etc) fills up about 1 1/2 dresser drawers and there is one dresser drawer of nothing but shoes.  I can't wait to play dress up!
• Got everybody's Christmas shopping done, wrapped, and under the tree.
• Downloaded a due date count down app so I can be obnoxious and recite the weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds until his due date.
• Did some research, because I worry all the time and am neurotic, and I found out that as of 28 weeks, Lennon has a 90-95% chance of surviving if he is born! Such a relief!
• Been guzzling down over a gallon of water a day. Yikes.
• Did my 1-hour GTT Saturday and I didn't mind the glucose drink at all.  I didn't even think it tasted as sweet as most sodas.  My luck ran out quick though when the lab tech had to stick me THREE times to get blood and I was sweating profusely and feeling floaty by the time the test was done.  I knew something had to go wrong after the drink part went so smoothly.

from babycenter.com

Lennon is the size of a small cabbage!



Shower invitation!



Time to start his library!



Second silhouette picture...slowly growing.

Owl wall hanging.  First product I've bought for Lennon's playroom.



Moving right along with the cards.

From my Birthday to Yours

December 10, 2012

Dearest Lennon,

Only three short months until your estimated arrival!  Celebrating my birthday yesterday got me excited to celebrate your birthday!  The closer we get, the more I start to wonder if you will be early, late, or right on time. If you are anything like me, you will arrive plently early with a to-do list in hand for everything you are determined to accomplish during your first day on earth because you will know that to be early is to be on time and to be on time is to be late. If you are anything like your father, you will burst out of my vagina fashionably late, like a bat out of hell, with a shit-eatting grin on your face, wondering what everybody was in such a hurry about. While I am not so sure I will prefer that you take after your father's punctuality by the time I am 40 weeks pregnant, I definately hope you inherit his personality. He is so laid back and easy going and ALWAYS happy. I spent all weekend gathering up all of your clothes, organizing them into size categories, and washing them, so they are ready to go! I know, you are a boy and that kind of stuff does not excite you. One day, your idea of clean will be the clothes on the floor that do not smell as bad as the ones in the hamper, but for now, I will soak up the time I have to pick out all of your outfits and make sure everything is clean and organized. I have a feeling that your days and nights are backwards. You start kicking around 7:30 PM and kick thoughtout the night, but during the day you refuse to budge no matter how much I try to irritate you. A few weeks ago, you gave your Dad and I a scare and it is the first time you scared your Dad to death and made him cry. I'm sure it will not be the last. I hope you do not hate me too much for continuously singing my heart out in the car. Better now than when you and a bunch of your teenage friends are in the backseat. Also, I apoligize for the sounds my belly makes after a big glass of milk. Thanks for treating my body so well these last six months and changing me for the better. Only three weeks until I get to see you again in 4D! I cannot wait! Last, but not least, I wanted to tell you about the song your Dad and I listened to when we first found out you were going to be a part of our lives. It's called "The Journey of Your Life" by Jake Owen. Hopefully we are able to make your journey amazing. See you soon.

Love,

Mom

 

Didn't realize you already have this much clothing until I rounded it all up. Oops!
Three days and eight loads later, it is all organized and smelling fresh! 



Two dozen roses for me and your very first teddy bear for you from your Daddy for our birthdays!

My grandma style cake.  Mom has bought me a DQ ice cream cake every birthday for as long as I can remember.



Looking wide. Yikes!

 

27 Weeks~Third Trimester!!!

December 5, 2012~THIRD TRIMESTER!!! Yip Skip!

What Little LaCasse is up to:

• Baby's brain continues it's rapid growth
• Response to sound grows more consistent
• Lungs continue to grow and prepare for functioning outside of the womb
• Baby continues to take small breaths
• Eyelids are now open more (baby can distinguish between light and dark)
• Retinas have formed
• Length (14.4 inches); weight (1.9 pounds)

What we've been up to:

• Survived my first big trip since I found out I am pregnant, which coincidentally will also be my last big trip while pregnant. 
• Discovered that if pregnancy induced lactose intolerance and/or pregnancy induced claustrophobia exist, I have been blessed with both.  I absolutely cannot stand to be in small spaces, in a bus seat, the back seat of a car, or the feeling or being crowded or around too many people, which makes me even more frightened about the possibility of needing a c-section because I will lose my shit if I get strapped down and practically covered by a blue screen and then I’d be “that patient” for the remainder of my stay.   
• Took a break from reading my “Natural Hospital Birth” book to read the book, “Bloom” by Kelle Hampton.  It was one of the best books I’ve ever read and I finished it in less than two days and highly recommend reading it.  You will cry a lot, especially if you’re already hormonal and pregnant like I just so happen to be.
• For all my fellow nurses, I officially have +1 pitting edema in my BLE which has given me cankles. 
• Number one thing not to do while pregnant…watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  Nothing makes me look down at all my doughy parts and image how repulsive they would look shoved into overly priced lingerie like watching VS models prance around on stage. 
• Started getting nauseous in the morning for no good reason at all. Like the kind of nauseous when you have to sit with your eyes closed and try avoid breathing while rapidly swallowing immense amounts of saliva and pulling your hair into a messy bun just in case.  I was hardly ever nauseous in my first trimester, so I guess this is what I get for being so proud of my body for handling pregnancy so well.
• Found out my insurance company is required to 100% cover the cost of breast pumps starting January 1, 2013 and that it has to be a hospital grade pump, so I plan on getting them to pay for the $1,750 Medela Symphony that I’ve heard so many good things about.  About time I get my monies worth from them.  Props to Obama.
• On the plus side, I don’t have any stretch marks yet, my winter coat still zippers shut, I’m still making it to the gym and running on the treadmill almost every night, and can still semi sleep on my belly!

from babycenter.com

Baby boy is the size of a head of cauliflower :)



Assuming the position to get rid of trapped gas at work. 
Nobody ever tells anybody about that little problem when they are pregnant.

Got another card from Sarah!

Winter night sky leaving work :)